19/10/08 Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh City)

Hindsight is a wonderful thing (so they tell me) or I wouldn't have been so impulsive as to set off in the opposite direction from my supposedly ultimate destination, Thailand, which I may add, cost me #25 for  visa.  Anyway, landed here Sunday morning and thought I had stepped into a time warp.  My Vietnamese visa (again another #25) sufficed to get me through immigration but from thereon in, everything was $dollars.  "you pay me $5 and I do this" was the recurring theme. Of course that was AFTER I had exchanged my US$ to Vietnamese dong. The fact that $1 equalled 1.600,000 dong might give you some idea as to the complete panic which overtook me, try as I might to fathom the conversion from dong to dollar (American by the way) and then into pounds.  The sweat emanating from every pore of my body was not, I assure you, caused by the 33% humidity alone.  When I thought I had agreed a price with the taxi driver, we were heading into what I can only describe as a maelstrom of thousands of scooters, each one more heavily ladened than the next.  Whole families travelled on one single scooter, babies crushed between mum and dad with the 2/3 year old hanging over the speedometer sound asleep. Each junction brought with it a scream from my already nerve jangled body, and my driver shouting "its ok, me good driver".  That's all very well sunshine, but what about the other maniacal drivers?  By the time I reached the hotel, in backpackers district, I could have wept ( a mixture of fear and trepidation as to what had happened and what lay ahead). I'll not go into the haggle I had with the taxi driver either, just use the imagination. Of course the hotel itself (shabby chic ) or as the award called it in 1999 "best small boutique hotel", had me booked in as 2 people and would have to charge me more as a single person as well as change the designated room.  By this stage, I was ready to turn tail and head back to the airport. The room itself was OK and had air con so at least one plus thus far.

Mistake number 2 (or is it already 6) DO NOT GO OUT FOR A WALK IN THE MID DAY SUN!!

especially alone and female, AND without carefully reading the map provided. With a little luck more than direction, I stumbled into a decent looking cafe, I say decent, because there was at least one other western there who could possibly have helped in an emergency (or so I thought).  That was until I saw him fondle the ar.. of the Vietnamese waitress every time she went past.  Did I really forget where the hell I was?  Am I that stupid? 

Yes to both, but true to the very essence of social work, I put all discrimination aside, drank my sickly black Vietnamese coffee with an equally sickly croissant, and decided to blow all caution to the wind and ordered a beer.  Then I sort of sauntered off into the complete unknown, a vague idea that I was heading towards the city centre and completely forgetting that "pavements" don't really exist in Saigon, and that scooters rule.  By rule, I mean the pavements.

A very nice elderly gentleman on a tuk tuk bicycle offered to take me to this shop where I could arrange my onward travel and accommodation.  Did I happen to mention that I was only flying one way to destinations?  Anyway, the words bicycle, tuk tuk and Saigon conjure up not the most endearing of sights in the " city of ten thousand scooters". One hour later and having circled the same area at least twice, taken at least a dozen heart attacks criss crossing the horrendous traffic, he finally deposited me outside this nondescript building, the sign being the only thing I recognised from information given to me by this nice couple from Seattle.  Once inside, I quickly learned that there were two branches of the same agency, the first one being exactly across the road from where the "nice elderly gentleman on the tuk tuk" picked me up.

If I say I was by now in a complete state of apoplexy, you'll understand that to have to return the same way caused me to break down in tears, the "nice elderly gentleman" of course still waiting for me outside the shop.  The shopowner seemed indifferent to my tears, thinking I was hot (understatement of the year) and pushing me in front of a fan which seemed to recycle the same hot air I was trying to avoid outside. 

A further hour later and another mind numbing experience on the Saigon roads, I had had enough.  I told my driver to stop at a church I recognised near the hotel, and being a Sunday, joined the rest of the throng entering for evening service.

Now, everyone who knows me also knows my feelings on religion.  Right? The last thing anyone of you would expect is to see me on my knees praying for SOME god to get me through the rest of the day.  In fact, my belief in Stargate, Jean Luc Picard and  Doctor Who all rolled into one wasn't enough to beam me away from Saigon onto pastures green, cool and welcoming.  Mary, Joseph and Jesus were right there in front of me and I actually asked them to take me home.

But no, not even they were a match for the "nice elderly gentleman" who was still waiting outside the church to take me all of 100 yards back to the hotel.  My insistance that I walk was met by more perplexity when I tried to pay him for the trip we agreed at the start.  Dong and dollars reared up again and before I knew it I was being called a cheat by the "nice elderly gentleman".  Having finally paid a hefty $10 for the most frightening experience of my life, I stumbled the last yards to the hotel, went to my bed without anything to eat (the stomach just wouldn't cope with food) and watched Vietnamese television till my eyes dropped.  I knew I had another day to contend with and made a pact with myself that if I got out in one piece, I would head straight back home and never complain about social work and Scotland again!!

Day 2 I emailed my sister and brother in law.  He told me to check in at one of the "posh" hotels in the city centre and he would arrange a driver etc.  I decided against it.  After all, why was I travelling?  To experience different countries, cultures and peoples.  I planned my day in advance and set off more determined this time.  Slowly Caroline, slowly!!  The heat only allows you to walk at 1 mile an hour.  Through a nice park, watching people doing tai chi, seeing kids playing, thats more like it.  Now, where is the peoples palace again? Take photos remember!

OK, camera out, focus, aim and NOTHING!.  The message read, "there is no memory card in the camera"  WHAT??  I definitely used it in Singapore, packed it in my rucksack and this is me using it for the first time in Saigon.  How could it possibly have disappeared? What next?  A thunderstorm would you believe!   "Monsoon season now ma'am" I was told by another tuk tuk driver waiting to save my day.  Forget it sunshine, I have my trusty mack brought all the way from Arran Brewery and so I plodded on, finally finding a shop which sold me a new camera card (at a price of course) and managed to take some obscure photos when the sun finally reappeared.

I have changed my mind about travelling up the east coast of Vietnam to Hanoi.  Next stop Cambodia.  If I see Angkor Wat that will do for now.